Woman returns from maika to find sasural dynamics, once BFF mother-in-law completely changed. Here’s what happened
A woman who has shifted to a different city after her wedding is facing abandonment issues four years later. However, it is not from her husband as one may reasonably expect, but from her mother-in-law. She took to the popular subreddit r/InsideIndianMarriage to vent her feelings, and the netizens lent her a compassionate ear.
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Development of the bond between the woman and mother-in-law
The bond in question was originally formed as a result of the common enemy effect, in which the woman and her mother-in-law came together against another individual whom they considered a third party in their dynamic.
After relocating to her husband’s hometown following the wedding, the woman found herself isolated, having left her entire social support system behind.
Her primary source of companionship became her mother-in-law, who empathised with her transition because she had made a similar move decades prior.
Over the years, their friendship was largely defined by a shared dislike of the husband’s grandmother, who lived with them. The mother-in-law and grandmother-in-law had been estranged due to a long-standing financial and property dispute.
It was easier for the woman to side against the grandmother, who she claimed was “somewhat a cranky old lady who has problem(s) with everything the new gen does, so basically she had lots of complaint(s) against me and hated me.”
During this time, the mother-in-law frequently shared stories of past mistreatment, which led to the woman feeling more resentment towards the grandmother. While they both continued to provide the grandmother with physical care, such as preparing meals and managing her medication, they had their private jokes at the elder’s expense.
How the bond crumbled
Following a brief twenty-day absence, which involved a stay at her mother’s home and a trip with her husband, the woman returned to find the household dynamic completely reversed.
Settling the disputes among themselves, the mother-in-law and grandmother-in-law had suddenly reconciled. The mother-in-law started treating the grandmother-in-law with exaggerated devotion, essentially acting as if their years of animosity never occurred.
This sudden shift left the woman feeling deeply betrayed and alone. She found it impossible to mirror her mother-in-law’s overnight transformation or to participate in the newfound “best friend” dynamic with the grandmother.
“I cannot behave normally even with my MIL (mother-in-law) because I am suddenly thinking how two-faced a person can be.”
The sudden change in dynamic that she remarked went from “Jaani dushman” to “Jai & Veeru,” which left the woman in a state of cognitive dissonance and as a recipient of the ‘outsider’ trauma.
Redditors share their thoughts
The Reddit community came to the support of the woman, encouraging her to seek new connections.
As one user noted, “Do you really want to be friends with someone who can pretend to suddenly like you at the turn of a hat? Do you even know her real thoughts about you? Find new and better friends.”
Another suggested keeping such bonds outside the family, stating, “Make friends outside the family, and you can rant about the family member to that friend as per your own experiences and views.”
However, a user delivered a fresh take, stating that the elderly women getting together at last was a positive outcome in the tale.
“I know old people can be really hard to be with at times, but they have very little time left in this world; there’s nothing wrong with giving them a positive and cheerful atmosphere in the house, even if it means swallowing some differences you have with their ideologies and views,” they noted.
Note to readers: This report is based on user-generated content from social media. HT.com has not independently verified the claims and does not endorse them.
