Has dating gotten harder? Mumbai neurologist explains why human relationships are taking a hit in today’s digital world
Does dating feel more exhausting, confusing or frustrating than it used to? If you’ve been feeling that way, you’re far from alone – and science suggests there’s a real reason behind it. In today’s fast-paced digital world, dating isn’t just about chemistry anymore; it also means navigating endless options, constant distractions, shrinking attention spans and the pressure to always keep an eye out for something better. Together, these modern realities have fundamentally changed how our brains approach connection, making dating feel more complex and emotionally demanding than ever before.
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Dr Siddharth Warrier, a Mumbai-based neurologist, TEDx speaker and content creator on YouTube, specialising in a neuroscience-based approach to cognitive and mental health and human behaviour, is breaking down the scientific evidence that explains why dating feels increasingly harder in the present day. In an Instagram video shared on December 29, 2025, the neurologist explains the neuroscience-based perspective on modern dating and how present-day human behaviours and digital environments make it increasingly difficult to truly find your person.
Why is dating harder now?
According to Dr Warrier, dating has become more challenging than it was in the past because modern daters are often trying to resolve two parallel questions at once – not only whether the person in front of them is right for them, but also whether someone better might still be out there.
He highlights, “Is dating harder now than it was before? I think so. Because of two reasons. When two people start dating, both of their brains have to be convinced of two things. A – that this person is good for me and B – that there’s no one else better.”
The time deficit
To truly assess whether the person in front of them is the right fit, individuals need time – something that has become increasingly scarce in today’s fast-paced, constantly distracted lives.
The neurologist explains, “For A to happen, they have to give time to get to know that person, all their green flags, red flags, for everything to come out. In the modern world, time is not something that people tend to give a lot.”
The paradox of choice
To convince yourself that there isn’t someone better out there, you have to stop looking elsewhere – yet dating apps are built to do the opposite. With endless profiles just a swipe away, they keep abundant choice constantly within reach, reinforcing the feeling that there is always another, potentially better option waiting.
Dr Warrier explains, “For B to happen, you have to stop looking elsewhere and this is difficult because the way that dating apps are structured, there’s always a choice. There’s always somebody else that you can check.”
The dopamine trap
After the initial dopamine rush of a new relationship has worn off, the brain seeks fresh stimulation, invariably gravitating towards newer excitement. This makes it harder to stick around and even harder to resist chasing new options – which, in reality, is less about connection and more about pursuing the next dopamine hit.
The neurologist elaborates, “After that initial spike of excitement is done in a relationship, the brain will always tend to prefer novelty. You’re chasing dopamine. And so, that B is harder to accomplish. So both of these things put together makes dating hard these days.”
The neurological perspective
Dr Warrier cites a study conducted by Pew Research Centre, which found that nearly half of respondents believe dating has become harder over the past decade. Participants attributed this shift to a mix of rising ghosting, increased online harassment, and growing concerns around infidelity.
He explains, “From a neuroscience perspective, a new relationship has the same addictive potential as cocaine. But as the novelty wears off, a relationship feels more like a work-out than a party drug. So the only way a relationship can work, is if two people commit to working out, with the same consistency and intensity for enough time, until the gains start showing. The ‘commitment’ in a relationship isn’t really to each other, it is more to the process.”
Note to readers: This article is for informational purposes only and not a substitute for professional advice. It is based on user-generated content from social media. HT.com has not independently verified the claims and does not endorse them.
