Dating trends 2025: Freak matching to ghostlighting, what ruled the year?
The year is coming to a close, and while it saw numerous developments, it was also a significant one for relationships and dating, with many terms and trends emerging.
Some were very quirky and weird, leading people to scratch their heads as to why someone would come up with that term, and others were straight up toxic despite their funny-sounding names.
From swag gap and nanoship to freak matching, here is a look at all the terms and trends that made headlines in 2025.
Future-proofing
In modern times, it is often difficult to have clarity on relationships and where those two individuals stand and if they are on the same page at all. This caused a shift to value stability in relationships, with women calling the shots here, birthing this term. Future-proofing is a dating trend that values long-term goals, instead of the casual, no-strings-attached dating style that has been popular for so long. It prioritises partners who offer emotional reliability, have clear life goals. With this trend, deep conversations are initiated right from the first day, so no one’s wasting anyone’s time. So, serious conversations about career aspirations, finance, and life values come under the spotlight early on.
Swag gap
This stems from pairings where one partner is visibly more stylish, groomed, or fashion-forward than the other. And this doesn’t just mean designer labels or expensive clothes, but the way one presents themselves while out and about. The most common example? A very feminine girl in glam clothes and heels posing next to a boyfriend in an oversized graphic tee, baggy pants or shorts and sneakers. Think model Hailey Rhode Bieber and husband, singer Justin Bieber or singer-actor Selena Gomez and husband, composer Benny Blanco. Being popularised online, the term has led to debate, with some saying it is “shallow” to go by appearances instead of someone’s personality, intellect and loyalty. Others argue that one’s clothing is an extension of their personality and shouldn’t be undervalued, either.
Micro-mance
Big romantic gestures do sound appealing, but there was a term trending this year which refers to small, consistent, meaningful gestures in relationships that build deep connection. Called micromance, it involves thoughtful acts like making coffee, sending a specific meme, or leaving a note, which release bonding hormones (oxytocin) and signal genuine care, making romance accessible and sustainable in daily life. It’s a major dating trend focused on emotional intelligence and practical love, popular among Gen Z and Millennials for building trust and intimacy.
Nanoship
If you are someone with long-term commitment issues, then you must have heard of this. Not a full relationship, but a small one, almost a nanoship. This means very short, low-pressure connections, like a brief, flirty chat on public transport or meaningful texts with no expectation of a full relationship, offering instant gratification and emotional uplift without commitment. It’s distinct from situationships because it’s even more fleeting and lacks the “almost-a-relationship” ambiguity, focusing purely on the present, positive moment.
Black cat and golden retriever
The golden retriever boyfriend archetype ruled the internet for years, with popular examples being Jeremiah Fisher in The Summer I Turned Pretty or Peter Kavinsky in To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before. These are loyal, goofy, affectionate and endlessly supportive. He is the “green flag” partner Gen Z wanted.
But this year, the internet shifted sides with the black cat boyfriend. He is a mysterious, introverted, slightly emo love interest who doesn’t charm with flowers or grand gestures, but with slow-burn loyalty, sharp wit, and an aura of intrigue. Felix from Too Much, Conrad Fisher from The Summer I Turned Pretty, Damon Salvatore from The Vampire Diaries or Carmen Berzatto in The Bear — all fit the mould. Meanwhile, the traction around the hashtag “Black Cat Energy” on Instagram is also in the millions, proving the archetype has clawed its way into fandom hearts.
Date With Me
This refers to the social media trend of vlogging/documenting your dating life for an audience on social media, popularised this year. It can also be a direct invitation to go out, often used playfully or to suggest creating your own dating content, like the viral “Date With Me” social media trend, where creators share everything from prep to post-date reflections. It’s a way to find connection by sharing vulnerable dating experiences online, creating a community around mutual good or bad dates.
Ghostlighting
A toxic dating term that took off this year was ghostlighting, which combines ghosting and gaslighting. It involves someone suddenly disappearing from a person’s life without explanation (ghosting) and then returning later, denying their absence or manipulating the victim into questioning their own memory, feelings, and perception of reality (gaslighting).
The ghostlighter might use excuses like “You’re overreacting” or “I was just really busy,” shifting the blame onto the victim and avoiding accountability for their actions. This behaviour is manipulative and can be psychologically damaging, leading to confusion, self-doubt, anxiety, and a reduced sense of self-worth for the person experiencing it.
Freak matching
Yet another term for finding your ideal partner, but it is given a pop culture-inspired name. It means to find someone who shares your unique quirks, eccentricities, niche interests (like gaming, comics, vintage toys), or unusual daily habits for deep compatibility, moving beyond superficial attraction to build authentic connections. It was popularised by American singer Tinashe’s song “Nasty”, which has the lyric, ‘Is somebody gonna match my freak?’ and coined by Plenty of Fish. It’s about embracing your “freakiness,” whether romantic or platonic, and finding someone who matches your specific vibe and passions.
Shrekking
Another one of the toxic trends is shrekking, where someone intentionally dates a person they find less conventionally attractive, hoping they’ll be more loyal, kind, and less likely to leave, essentially “dating down” for security, inspired by the Shrek movie’s premise but with a focus on perceived partner-value. Experts warn it’s often toxic, leading to resentment and unmet expectations. It’s about seeking a safe relationship by choosing someone beneath you, assuming they’ll be eternally grateful, rather than finding a genuine connection.
Banksying
If you felt like your partner is slowly detaching themself from you, emotionally pulling away and withdrawing their feelings, but there are no fights, no arguments, just widening distance, then you were being banksied. It is a toxic dating term which makes ‘ghosting’ seem much more polite. You do not break up with your partner, but rather put them through a toxic cycle of constant emotional withdrawal, and they are left wondering in the dark about what went wrong. The word takes shape after the England-based street artist, Banksy, 50, who creates his work, makes it known to the public, and then just vanishes without any announcement whatsoever.
Bird theory test
Dating in today’s times requires navigating an extra layer of complexity, with countless trends, tests, and terms circulating online. One such term that captured major attention is the ‘bird theory.’ The trend was hailed as a simple emotional check-in disguised as a playful experiment. The term is rooted in the psychological concept of ‘bids of connection,’ coined by American psychologist John Gottman in the 1990s.
The test begins with you sharing a random, non-significant detail of your day. If your partner responds with curiosity, warmth, or interest—something like, “Oh really? What did it look like?”— It’s seen as a sign of emotional connection. On the other hand, if your partner dismisses the comment, ignores it, or responds with indifference, it may signal a disconnect. In the language of the Gottmans, they’re “turning away” from your bid rather than “turning toward” it.
Reverse catfishing
Catfishing was a thing, but a new term called reverse catfishing took the internet by storm this year. It is a dating trend where people intentionally post unfiltered, “less-than-perfect” photos and understated bios to attract partners who value authenticity and emotional connection over curated, idealised online images, essentially showing their “messy truth” to find someone who likes them for who they truly are, flaws and all, rather than a polished facade.
