How to console someone: Study shows the best method to emotionally support a distressed person
When going through a tough time, all someone seeks is a bit of emotional support to ease their stress. There are many ways to express support, from verbal expressions like compassionate and reassuring words to nonverbal gestures like a hug.
A study published in the Journal of Nonverbal Behavior examined different types of emotional support to determine how they influence the emotional state of the aggrieved, especially their self-esteem and distress. The study tried to find out whether words alone, physical touch, or a combination of both are most helpful for someone going through a challenging time.
ALSO READ: Struggling with communicating with your partner? Here’s how you can fix it
Which is the most effective
The 409 participants in the study were shown a video of a female student offering support to another student who had failed a midterm exam. Based on it, they rated how effective the methods were.
The results showed that emotional-focused verbal support received a higher rating. What does it mean then?
It means including emotional reassurance and validating their feelings, such as saying, ‘I’m sorry you are going through this.’ This also helps with their low self-esteem caused by the challenge at hand. The emotional turmoil they are going through benefits from this ‘check on how they are feeling.’
Words of reassurance, like verbal support, are often one of the first forms of support given. It should not simply focus on solving the problem, such as saying, ‘Talk to your professor.’
So even if the support is verbal, it should be emotion-focused, trying to help the person deal with their emotions first. Directly offering advice on how to solve the problem may come off as less empathetic and can make the person feel like their emotions are being overlooked. Sometimes people may even think they are overreacting to the problem, worsening their emotional state. It’s important to acknowledge that it’s okay to feel the way they are feeling.
Add physical touch to emotion-focused verbal support
The study later addressed how physical touch, like a hug or pat on the back, can amplify verbal support, making it more comforting.
To sum it up, consoling someone doesn’t have a one-dimensional approach of either tactile or verbal support. It’s a careful balance of reassuring words and comforting hugs or pats. They need to be paired delicately.
Focusing on the feelings can help the person more. So anytime, you extend support, take time and acknowledge their feelings first, before diving head first into advice. Sometimes, all one needs is to be heard and receive validating words. Solving their problem may not help with their emotional state.
Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only and not a substitute for professional medical advice.
ALSO READ: You are what you ‘consume’: Study shows the connection between poor mental health and negative online content
